Welcome and Blessings!

Thank you so much for stopping by! I have named this blog "Running to the Cross" because that is what I often find myself doing...running to be with my Lord Jesus! I often cover many aspects of life on my blog, as it is my journal. I used to write things down in all sorts of notebooks, but my writings would soon be lost. So I decided that it was time to start a blog and share my thoughts and ideas with others. Many topics you will find here are prayers, homemaking and organization, children and pregnancy, funny stories, and the challenges of parenting and motherhood. If you enjoy my blog and leave me a comment, you are likely to have me visit! I love meeting others and gleaning from the lives of others. May you be blessed! Your friend in Christ, Heather

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A Little About Me...

Today, I am going to let some "cats out of the bag" so to speak. ;O) After all, we all need to know from time to time that there is a human being behind all of these words. If you would like to read my testimony, you can read it here.

A Look into My Childhood
Well, I must say, not much really happened in my childhood, so to speak. I was an extremely "high needs" baby, I cried for the first six months of my life to no avail. As a toddler, I was very assertive...nobody stepped on my toes without me letting them know it! :OP I carried a pillow around that I sucked on, yes, sucked on...YUCK! Finally my mother took it away, because when an offender stepped on my feelings, I whacked them good and hard with my nasty, wet pillow!

I stayed pretty ornery most of my preschool years. I wouldn't be comforted when my feelings were hurt and I never let anything that anyone said about me bother me, or so that's the impression that I gave. Sometimes, I would just bump into someone just because I was jealous...mostly around the age of 4 or 5, I wasn't very nice sometimes. Thankfully, I grew out of that stage by the time I was in first grade or so...they also spanked you if you were mean when I was in school, so I learned to behave.

As a grade school student, I had several friends...at that time we were all friends. It wasn't until high school that the cliques began. I always tried to be nice, even if not everyone was nice to me. I remember as a freshman in high school, when I was a cheerleader, the first time that I realized that I didn't really fit in with the cheer leading crowd. We were at cheer leading camp, and at that time my mother let me wear make-up. It took me a looooonnnggg time to put on make-up, about 30 minutes at that time. I remember one morning, when several of the other girls were running into my room while I was applying my make-up. Soon I realized that they were timing me! It was a cruel joke, and set me back for a few minutes...but I shook it off, I never let anyone know how I really felt.

Past to Present
High school passed, and I went on to college to earn my degree in art. My first couple of years were my rebellious years, I tried drinking...didn't like it, got involved with someone seriously only to realize that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. God rescued me from that relationship. I was living a lie to others around me, making them think I was just a good "Christian" girl.

<---Somewhere along here, I found Christ, or He found me--->

I repented and soon met my husband. He, too, had his mistakes which only helped our relationship. Our eyes were opened to the lies about relationships; like it was okay to kiss, hold hands, and go out alone on dates because that didn't lead to anything...we knew better, and we didn't allow it in our relationship until we were betrothed. Even then, we were very careful so that we didn't taint our relationship before marriage.

I graduated from college, and he stayed another year. That was the hardest year of our lives! We had established, in college, daily devotions and prayer time--together--apart, we lost all of that. Exactly one year after we met, September 16, 1995, he proposed. I was awestruck! I thought we were going to wait a couple of years to marry, but he proposed early! I was thrilled and of course, I said "YES!!!"

Marriage was a new experience, we had our trials and soon learned that we were expecting! Our first son arrived in July of 1997, our second in January of 1999....then my first devastating miscarriage on December 22, 1999,.... a precious daughter in October of 2000,.... another miscarriage on June 3, 2001...., another precious daughter in March of 2002, another daughter July of 2003, another daughter in June of 2005,....an ectopic pregnancy that left me with one ovary and tube on August 4, 2006..., and now we are expecting another baby in September.

Throughout almost 11 years of marriage we have moved 4 times. Our 3rd move, moving us about 1000 miles from ALL family (for a job). It is difficult to not have my mother here, but it has been a good learning experience for me.

My Struggles
As a Christian, a wife and a mother of many trades, I have a great many struggles.

~I struggle with perfectionism, I want things perfect when I am having company over, especially my in laws. The ongoing joke around here (that my husband tells) is that his mother gives the white glove a white glove test! As I have written before, I can't have things perfect, not with 6 (going on 7) children. I have had to let go of some of the expectations that I have set for myself. I know that I have always said that I won't let what others think of me or say about me bother me, but I am bothered when a close family member doesn't accept my inability to be organized like them.

~I struggle with being even-tempered with my children, especially when I am a hormonal pregnant lady! I yell, and I have to ask forgiveness. I get angry, and I have to ask forgiveness.
I am always asking the forgiveness of my children.

~If you haven't figured it out yet, I am NOT a calm individual. I am the high-strung yappy dog that jumps up and down! Although I am not a dog lover, I am dog tolerant. When I am under pressure to get things cleaned up for company, I am nervous, irritable and running circles around everybody! I am high energy...when put under pressure.

~I am stubborn. I love to sew and often will make something for someone at the last minute. I will stay up until it is done. It is a pet peeve of my husband's, but he has accepted it somewhat...he does the very same thing with his job.

~I try to be submissive to my husband. I am NOT by any means perfect in this area, but I hold a high regard for honoring our husbands, they are the head of us just as Christ is the head of the church. I love my husband very much, and I will try to do what he asks even if it didn't set well with me when he first asked...I know that I need to change my attitude, so by God's grace and help, I do.

~I struggle in the area of keeping things clean all the time, I can't do it. I have tried. I was successful for a few years (before I had six children) and after my 5th child was born, I was no longer able to keep up. I want to be a good steward, I want to have a clean and tidy house, but it only stays clean for a while...so I must work on maintaining.

~I love to sew, like I said before. I am a creative person and I go through these spells where I must sew myself or someone else a new garment. I know this is not the "season of life" to sew, but I have to sometimes. It calms and relaxes me, and when I am unsuccessful in all other areas of life, I am successful in sewing.

~I love being pregnant! Even though pregnancy leaves me fatigued and sometimes in pain...I get those horrible round ligament pains that last for about 45 minutes. Labor is even better than pregnancy, not only is there a little gift at the end, but it is exhilarating for me. I want to have as many children as God will give us, although I struggle in the area of parenting, I LOVE my children!!!

~ I refuse to say negative things about others that might hurt them. I know how it feels. Even if I am down, I will never, ever go public with negative feelings. That's just not me. I am blunt, but I try to my best ability to be lovingly blunt.

~I am not perfect. I have the same negative feelings that others have. I struggle with sin, and I am constantly praying for forgiveness. I don't keep a perfect house, and I don't eat the perfect diet. I try to stay thin and attractive to my husband, but I am not one who gets sickly looking, or extremely thin. But, I am human and I am covered by the blood of Jesus Christ.

So there you have it, a little or a LOT about me...depends if you see the cup half empty or half full!

Have a blessed day!


Swylv said...

thanks for being so open and honest.

So you constantly pray for forgiveness? For past stuff or current stuff? Do you believe that as soon as you are called/justified then you are forgiven past, present and future? of course the work out your own salvation with fear and termbling still applies and go and sin no more.

runningtothecross said...

I ask forgiveness for my current trespasses or sins daily (those I may have committed today), my past sins have been forgiven because I have already asked for forgiveness for my past sins.

Jesus tells us how to pray in Matthew 6:9-13,
" 9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen."

He does say to go and sin no more, but also knows that we are going to sin regardless, it is our constant struggle. I am not proclaiming to be perfect, for if I were perfect I wouldn't sin...I would be like Christ.

Jesus follows the prayer with these words In Matthew 6:14-15,
"14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Paul dealt with sin, too.

Romans 7:7-25 says:
" What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.
8 But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence. For without the law sin was dead.
9 For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died.
10 And the commandment, which was ordained to life, I found to be unto death.
11 For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it slew me.
12 Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good.
13 Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid. But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good; that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful.
14 ¶ For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin."

I will continually be dealing with sin until death or the judgement, whichever one comes first, just as Paul dealt with sin.

Christ died for our sins, and His blood covers our transgressions, however, I must continue to seek Christ for forgiveness and strive to be more like him.

Thank you for your comment!

Mercy said...

Hi Heather!
It's always nice to find out more about the "author" of the blog. You've become such a friend in this big ol world of blogging.

I struggle in many of the same areas. My mil is NOT the perfectionist, but I am. I am thankful that I have been able to allow my standards to fall a little bit with my husbands family and be myself. I think I get the perfectionism from my family & who live nearby, so I am constantly on edge wondering if they will stop by when our house is wrecked. I WANT to be someone who keeps their home company ready, but I just get a little neurotic, plus it's not just not possible. I'm like you, I kind of go into this "daze" when I start working on a project. For me, it's usually a writing project or organizing or schooling. I love learning/teaching. Things kind of go by the wayside when I'm involved in any of those.

Yep, I constantly appologize to my children too! And my husband. I was thinking last night that I really am struggling with having a submissive spirit. The truth is, I am to love my husband as Jesus loves me. Would I really get angry at Jesus for asking (in my husbands case - commanding) me to do something? Yikes!!

Anyway, I could go on. Thanks for telling us a little about ya!

Your "blogging buddy",

LeadingThemToHim said...

Thanks for sharing, Heather.

Cajunchic said...

Wow. We are very much a like. I found myself reading your post and just shaking my head regarding many of your flaws. The funny thing I found about reading your post today was just this morning I was stressing that my landlord came to the house when, while it was still rather clean, the kids had left toys all over the yard. He probably did not even care but I tend to dwell on things like that. It was nice ot know others do the same thing.