The Curve Ball

Sometimes God throws you a curve ball. You plan and you plan, but He has other plans...

Here is my curve ball...
Last Tuesday, after having what I thought was my cycle, I found out that I was pregnant. Great news, I know, but that's not the curve ball...

I started spotting Monday night (before Tuesday), decided to take a pregnancy test...positive, spotted on and off all last week. Began taking ginseng (to raise my progesterone level) & vitamin E (supposed to be helpful with a threatening miscarriage)....and it helped, by Saturday the spotting had stopped. I went to church Sunday...everything still clear...but at church I began having pinkish discharge again. When I woke this morning, I had bled a little in the night...dark red...ugh, enough to make me worry again.

So I guess I am threatening to miscarry, or already have...just waiting for it to complete...you see, I had a "cycle" two weeks ago today (when pregnant)...so I'm thinking miscarriage. Yes, I have had one before and today I was hurting so bad I couldn't stand up straight...

I said to myself earlier on, I'm okay with it, I can handle more than I used to...but when I woke this morning and found the blood in my underwear, I realized that it is going to be hard...miscarriage is NEVER easy...why should I think that it is?

I know that nothing happens outside of the will of God...He will comfort me, and He has...but the tears are still coming. I will get through this, but not without God's help. I still don't know yet if this is a miscarriage...only time will tell...prayers are appreciated.

Don't know when I will update again...maybe when things have settled again and I have worked through whatever is the outcome of this...

May God bless...
Heather